Halfway through

I am a little over halfway through with everything that I need to get done with finals. I had a bad headache today from lack of sleep. Trying to get all the coffee out of my system and try to get ready for another week. I woke up at 12:30 today and worked from 1-2. The whole time I had a pounding headache. Went to sleep at 2 and slept until 8. Going to try to get back on a normal schedule for the next week and get things done. It was a one day week, one long day.

Yesterday is Today is Tomorrow

All of my days are blending together. Just got back from a write-a-thon. two response papers, three journal entries, and 6 out of ten pages that is quickly turning into more because covered 2/6th of the material which is 1/3rd in the not sleepy circles. Tonight/tomorrow which is today I will write a rough draft for a curriculum plan which will be another good bit of pages along with a not so academic paper for theater (joke) which will be 2 or 3. Followed by many more journal entries (behind by like 20), finishing the ten/twenty page mug, drinking lots of coffee, reading some chapters of textbook, finishing Christmas light set up for building, going to the grand lighting, and a merry Christmas. Over a couple of days life suddenly got busy.
All of that not so good at 6:30 in the morning, maybe later yesterday/today/tomorrow delete.

Coffee, Coke, and Skittles

At times I feel that I am always on the verge of another pointless all-nighter. I am no longer acting out of necessity. I just can't work well at any other time. Now, in the darkness, the campus is dead, and I am buzzing on coffee, coke, and skittles while writing my papers and reading my books. The laundry room is empty and I leave my laundry running in the free dryer for hours on end in my forgetfulness. I have to get off of this schedule and work towards normalcy and a better work ethic, but why do I argue myself so quickly out of something that I enjoy. I like it when the world disappears and I can work. I am too busy with so many things and I am missing out on studying what I want to. That is why I carve out these chunks of time from one o'clock to seven in the morning where I am not bothered and the world is quiet. I sit back with a cup of coffee and read the night away.
I am so unhealthy.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

I have been given the opportunity to do a rewarding and informative (for me at least) project that could shape the next year and a half of my schooling. Next semester I have to do a language teaching experience somewhere in the community. Over January I plan to find a church that has an ESL program and start teaching there. While there, I want to do a case study on the way in which the Christian faith of those in the program interacts with the teaching of English and the extent to which this interaction affects teachers' decisions. After that, if I can get it cleared through the human research board on campus then I will do a fall '08 system wide study about faith based language teaching initiatives covering issues like pedagogy and curriculum choices and teacher attitude towards learners. Then, in the spring for my senior ESL project I could do a practical project like a program pitch for a church desiring to start an ESL program, training for those wanting to teach in a church or faith-based setting, etc...
These thoughts come at the end of a year and a half of disinterest and apathy in my studies so I hope that it motivates me to work harder because I am so interested in the subject. I am starting to embrace the ESL and app. ling. side of things.
World travel, reading, and writing... sounds swell.

conformity?

Can a Christian fight for rights and revolt against injustice? Governments are put in place by God. God is sovereign and His will is perfect. There are purposes behind the way countries are run and manipulated in this world. Can a Christian critically examine their world, see injustice, and work for revolution? If a puppet government exploits the resources of a nation, mistreats its people, and swells the pockets of the rich do the Christian citizens of that nation work within the system for change or do they work to topple or completely rework the system? What sorts of actions are appropriate for Christians to take and what do they fight for? This physical world is not our home or the ultimate ; the spiritual is our home and is ultimate. But does that mean that we leave the poor, the oppressed, and the enslaved members of this world to their fates because we see that to be their lot?
I am thankful for the blessings that I have in my life, but I live a pretty coddled life in a part of the world that is hated for the way that it treats others. The United States is full of inequality and I would be lying to say that I am not on the top as a white middle class Christian who will soon be a college grad. Inside and outside there is need for change. Do we sometimes argue ourselves out of positive societal change because we believe so fiercely in the sovereignty of God (to the point of defacing it)? Maybe this is only something I struggle with. I've had one person come up to me and tell me they were upset with the way that sovereignty is emphasized to the point of minimizing merciful action in a hurting world. I wonder if this is more widespread in reformed circles. I have been mulling all of this over in my head over the weekend and it did not come out as I thought it would. Toned down, maybe?
I know that we are not building a physical or political world, but I guess my main decision to make in my thoughts is whether or not Christians should violently act for political changes if it brings about social justice, equality, and freedom (in a non-Bush sense of the word).

Christian Academic Rationalism

I have never understood the intention of those who choose to enroll their children in a Latin class over a Spanish class. I may take a step farther and say that I do not understand the intention of those, in this context, who choose to enroll their children in a French or German class over a Spanish class, but at least some of them may have the excuse of a German or French lineage. I have yet to meet a Roman. On the other hand, I have met many Spanish speakers who would probably love to meet a couple more WASPs who could speak their language. Instead, white mid-upper class Christians are pushing classical education as the Christian alternative and are raising up generations of students who can read Cicero but are unable to communicate with their neighbor or the boy at school who has few friends because he can't speak English.
What great service does this provide? Well, our young Latin scholars may score higher on the SAT because they know root words. Then they can get in a better college. Then they can make lots of money. Then they can boss around their neighbor and the child from school. Then they can pay thousands of dollars to go on a "missions" trip to a country where they can't speak the language and make comments about how blessed they are and how poor the country is (nice hotels though). Then they can feel better about all of their life decisions.

Spanish is not the only choice, but it makes a lot of sense in our context. Latin is the shibboleth of the elite deceptively passed off as a way of embracing the rich history and culture of a long dead and over glorified society. Classical education in the area is a faintly disguised form of academic rationalism with a Christian spin when it comes to language teaching. Perhaps people might believe that we care if we put a little more effort into learning their language and a little less effort into improving our standardized test scores.

Teaching Bullom So as a Second Language

I have been hired to teach Bullom So as a second language. My language is spoken by only five hundred speakers in Sierre Leone, has no imperialistic or hegemonic claims on the region, has not been used for colonization, does not bring about any difficult moral dilemmas in my heart, will likely be extinct by the end of a couple of decades, and I don't get sick at the thought of the impact that it will have on those who learn it. My work brings life, not death. It invigorates a community and brings joy to those who know that their heritage and heart language will not be lost as the younger generation accepts the new and rejects the old. I am a righteous agent of positive change for a community. My work could bring about a cultural renaissance for my community. I picture a world where Bullom So poets are included in native language anthologies in Bullom So universities, where our artists tour the art galleries of the world and speak of our rich cultural heritage, and where our community teems with life and beauty and love.
But none of that is true, is it?
-The future smoking gun of language death